Tag Archives: Work

Taco Bell Survival Guide in Eight Steps

This is not a get rich quick scheme, I am offering my personal knowledge to you for free. You can thank me now 🙂

1. Never go into the walk in alone on truck day.

a) If you must, avoid opening the freezer if there are 10 boxes of lettuce stacked in a corner leaning against the top of the freezer door.

b) If you have to open the freezer don’t try to move the boxes by leaning the stack over and trying to catch it on your head.

c) If there is no other option, DO NOT PANIC. With grace, like me you too can conquer the impossible, but remember the headsets DO NOT work inside of the walk in. DO NOT get crushed by the lettuce you will freeze to death.

2. Realize within the first 5 minutes of this job that there are very stupid people on this planet and no matter how hard anyone tries they CANNOT be cured.

a) FREE is always a great waiting incentive unless the person is rude.

b) Don’t let assholes get under your skin. Remember what your co-workers are there for, a team that makes fun of customers together stays together.

3. Accept being a loner.

a) Being short staffed is nothing new at this establishment. Although they may not like it customers expect it by now. (They take a chance pulling into any fast food lot with 15 cars waiting the drive thru and a full lobby, maybe they should think before they get their hopes up on tacos.)

4. Quantity is not Quality.

a) YES the Combos include GRANDE CUPS.

b) Just in time shipping is a bitch, learn to love her.

c) Taco Bell does not have a warehouse behind its drive thru, there is a shed next to the back door. We run out of shit. We still have other things that taste good.

5. Integrity.

a) “Oh shit Jenny is coming in today?!” should not scare you. Do your job right, like you do everyday, if Jenny does not like that then it is time to get a new job.

b) Never compromise yourself.
6. Neuvo es muy bueno.

a) New things will be advertised heavily, notice the breakfast signs on all of the cup lids?

b) Know as much as you can and if that is not enough for a customer, yell “SOS!” You break the ice, got the attention you desired from a co-worker that knows more than you, and the customer is probably going to give you a good survey because they think you are funny.

7. F.I.S.H.

a) Fuck it shit happens.

b) You will be replacing orders, humans are taking and making these orders a few mistakes are bound to happen everyday at Taco Bell. Be clutch about fixing the order and give the customer what they need, they are already having a sucky day. How would you feel if you just got handed what you thought was going to be grade A meal that tasted like sex, only to open your goodie bag to some health freak’s fresco chicken soft taco?

8. Green is GOOD.

a) Yes it does take longer to make tacos than it does to make burgers, but my living mas friend Taco Bell is FAST FOOD.


I don’t know how useful this maybe to the masses, but there is a mass of Yum employees, present and future that will thank me for this. Saving lives one taco at a time.